Christmas is Coming...the Mommy is Getting Fat

Well, getting wouldn't be the right word. Is fat would be a more accurate statement. I keep thinking about the New Year and what I'd like to do to remedy the situation. A few years ago I did a diet challenge with some ladies at the office and lost about 50 pounds doing South Beach. I'd like to say the diet is hard and easy at the same time. When you're a picky eater like me, breakfast can be hard. Eggs every morning gets to be unbearable...and it's still hard for me to swallow the thought. But the diet works. My commute was hard and I didn't have time to make it to the gym much and I still lost the weight. I'd love to start a diet challenge, even without cash, but as a motivator with other mommies. Who knows...maybe I'll put more thought into it. There's a great website/blog called Mommy Later Than Sooner that might be an avenue for it. I wouldn't want to know anyone's actual weight (God knows I wouldn't want to share mine), but would want to know inches lost and pounds lost. I'll add it to my to do list.

On a positive note, I have started taking my vitamins again in the morning. I can't remember the last time I ate a real veggie, so I definitely need to be a person who takes their vitamins. One teeny tiny small step in the right direction.

I want to try the recipes in that Jessica Seinfeld books as well. I own it. It sits on my kitchen counter. Guess osmosis isn't really going to happen. Nor will be hiring a chef, so I'm thinking I might have to open the pages and add items to my grocery list.

I'd also like to try adding a new thing to my life each week. You know, ridding ones self of bad habits, adding healthy habits into my life, trying new things, etc. For example, (and I don't know when this stopped happening) to brush my teeth each night before bed. A horrible habit to get out of, I admit. I think these kinds of things are doable, and instead of failing at all my New Year's resolutions, these are ones I can be successful at. Oh, joy!

I'm also hoping that little voice in the back of head that keeps going "I don't want to be the fat mommy" becomes louder and louder and forces me into action. Anyone have a used treadmill they'd like to sell me?????

They Meet: Bugs and Santa

This past weekend, my mother's company held a huge family holiday party complete with having our picture taken with Santa. We stand in line (for about 5 minutes, not too bad) and let her toddle around watching what everyone is doing, seeing the other kids sit on his lap, pointing to him, the works. Once it was our turn, sour grapes. We didn't cry exactly, it was more of a "who is this strange man and why do I have to sit on his lap and you better get me off now before I scream." So, the look on her face is priceless and I will probably laugh about it a lot more in years to come. All I have to say is, I'm happy I didn't stand in line for an hour and pay $40 for the same face. Other than that, she had a blast. She loves to watch other kids and see what they are doing. We had lunch, tried to sit through a magic show, but that wasn't happening. She got some balloons to take home which thrilled her to pieces. All in all, it was a nice day spent with grandma and great-grandma.

This Saturday her other grandparents have a Christmas party at their 55+ village and Santa will be joining us. Maybe try 2 will go better, since he won't be such a 'stranger' to her. I have fun anyway, dressing her up and showing her off. What's not to like.

It even seems that grandpa is going to play Santa on Christmas Eve and make a surprise visit to our house. Her two other little cousins will be thrilled by this. I doubt she'll care, but I know it will make grandpa happy.

On a side bar, her walking is vastly improved and it seems to become the approved mode of transportation. Her walking to crawling ratio must be about 85%/15% and grows every day. The time she crawls is when she wants to move super fast and crawling does that. We don't know how to run yet. It's so cute to watch her walk around like Frankenstein with her arms straight out in front of her. She's getting so big!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Although no one is hear to read my posts, I'm still sending happy wishes out to everyone.

I know I am thankful my family will get together this holiday and have a feast on our table. I'm thankful my daughter has three sets of grandparents and 2 great-grandma's who love her dearly and are able to witness her growing up. I'm thankful I have a roof over my head, a car to take me to and fro, and a job. I'm especially thankful to the people (fur and skin) that I go home to each night...my husband, my daughter, my Sammy dog and my Tigger kitty.

Blessings everyone!

We've Been Hit...By The Croup

My daughter has come down with Croup. Sounds just as horrible as the name. Poor girl is up during the night coughing and hacking like a seal. Most evenings, around 2 am, she coughs so hard she throws up. Not like changing her crib is a pleasurable experience normally (bumpers) but at 2 am, it's even less so. So, I rock her and comfort her as best I can and do all the things the books say. Not sure what benefit they are really having, but it makes me feel better like I'm contributing to her recovery.

This is going to be my daughter's second Thanksgiving. Last year she was 3 weeks old at Thanksgiving and slept through the vast majority of it. She was so cute and so little then! Last night when she was sitting on my lap reading a Thanksgiving book with me, it was so emotional to think back to life a year ago and all the changes that have happened. I'm sure next Thanksgiving I'll have her on my lap reading a story and have the same exact thoughts. Time really does fly by. I try every day to enjoy my daughter and be thankful for her.

One Step For Babykind

She did it! She took her first tentative steps toward Toddlerhood. Of course, being a working mom I missed the real actual first steps. She did those at daycare and when I arrived to pick her up they had her ready and waiting to show me her new skill. I was such the proud Mommy!! This is one of the last big milestones in her life...walking. I know there is reading, bike riding, words, to follow this, but this seems like the send off from babyhood into toddlerhood.

The hardest part of all of this? Not sharing with anyone! I worked on her last night to take a few steps for my husband as a surprise. I think she used most of her skill and energy up earlier, and it took some major bribing with Puffs on my part to get her to take 3 steps for me. But we were both so thrilled. I haven't said a word to the grandparents, which was so hard because my mom called last night. We're going to see her tomorrow and I want Bugs to surprise her. I want to tell everyone, but really want to see the look of happiness and surprise on their faces when they discover her new skill. Her one set of grandparents have walked up and down the halls of their condo with her Wednesday evening and after Wednesday evening. They will be overjoyed!

Such major developments going on in our house with the little person. I look at the pictures on my desk from as soon as 4 months ago and the changes are just incredible. Her hair is fuller and fuller in each shot, her face is more mature, she's grown...ugh, it tugs at the heartstrings. I just love this little person more than anybody in the world and more than I ever imagined.

No Walkie Mommy

We have a contented cruiser in our house. We'll walk around and around the coffee table, from end to end on the couch and even take the wee minor step from the coffee table to the couch. Beyond that, nothing! My daughter will even stand on her own and when coaxed to take the one little step towards you, down she goes. Right on her bottom. Give her the push cart or anything on wheels, and she'll zip around the house like a devil. Seriously...get out of her way or get run over.

The "experts" say that most children start to toddle around the 13th month. I'm hoping so, because I think she will be so much happier with this freedom. And the knees on her pants will be happier too, they are the only dirty spot on her! I'll be happy because it will be less carrying around this 23 pound ball of fun. Such a monumental achievement in her life. I can't believe we're already at this point...it really seems like just yesterday I was cheering her on to holding her head up, sitting up, clapping, crawling. I'm feeling old!

Just yesterday I was thinking about where I was a year ago, home on maternity leave with this little bundle that wouldn't sleep. Sometimes I yearn for that baby, all those adventures again. Then I think about how tired I was and how I feel like now I'm just catching up on my sleep and my life again and would I want to go through it all over? And I had concerns and worries the last time I was pregnant due to my "advanced age" and the possibilities it brings with it. I was blessed with a healthy, smart, beautiful little girl who is the light of my life and who knows what another round could bring. I truly worry about it, even though I know we would get through it and love that child just as much. But who wants to even for a second have to think about making a decision on a child's life?

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the day when I can send all the grandparents a video of Bugs doing her wobbly walk!

The Tooth...You Can't Handle The Tooth!

Yeah! A top tooth has finally broken through! This explains the crabby behavior and the uninterest in food there for a week or so. I'm so happy that she's finally getting her top teeth...like a little right of passage. My girl is getting so big!

Of course, this one top tooth is going to make her look like a jack-o-lantern with a crazy smile. She'll have 1 top right tooth, 2 bottom center teeth and 1 bottom left tooth. Weird how they just come in all willy nilly. Everyone thinks they are like animals on Noah's Ark and come in 2 at a time, but my daughter is proving this not to be the case.

Maybe now we will have the skills to bite into things. Just not other humans I hope. She's been bit 3 times at her daycare now. I hope it doesn't become something she's interested in doing. I don't want to be on the receiving end of that phone call!

My quest for veggies is going surprisingly well right now. Spaghetti squash is still my little savior. I mixed it into her pasta last night with some chicken and viola! All gone! Today she is sporting an egg, ham, shredded carrot omelet for breakfast. I made this carrot sticks in a apple glaze for her PM snack. We'll see how that goes. I don't have much hope, and find it difficult to send her to school with food she hasn't tried at home. I worry that if she doesn't eat something new that I'm trying, she won't have a meal. I know she won't starve to death, but if she's like her father when he doesn't get a meal in him, she won't be pleasant to deal with.

My Savior: Spaghetti Squash

I now love spaghetti squash (which, in my 38 years of live, I have never had...and have to say, not bad). The easiest thing in the world to cook (nuke for 12 minutes, cut open, scoop out seeds and scoop out strands). Add some butter, sauce, cheese either all together or individually and my child loved it. It was also great to "hide" in other foods...Chinese noodles, regular pasta, whatever she was eating. I'm so happy to get a vegetable in her I did a little dance. I now have this and peas! Up next, carrots.

I have a stack of baby/toddler cookbooks I took out of the library sitting on my desk to copy recipes (I'm always so happy when I remember the library...I save so much money on books). The hardest thing is to get beyond myself. I turned my nose at some recipes, but have to stop that. Just because I won't eat it doesn't mean my child can't try it or won't love it. I think that's the hardest aspect of parenting...taking yourself out of the equation and letting your child form their own opinion and judgements on anything, not just food. And maybe, she won't be 1/2 as opinionated as her mother!

Woman vs. 23 Pound Weakling

Well, I must say, my daughter has a will of iron. I'm still on my path of getting her to eat healthy. Most of the "good stuff" ends up being picked out of the bowl and on the floor. How on earth can she find that minuscule pea or piece of carrot and have it completely avoid her mouth? I thought it would all just get shoveled in. But no. She interrogates every bite and what seems oddly colored or textured gets rejected. This is going to be a loooooooooooooooong battle. Sadly, I think I'm losing to a 23 pound weakling.

Overall, her appetite seems very off key. She hasn't been eating much of anything at all. Even her daycare noticed and sent a little report home about it. I can't force her to eat and I don't know if it's food choice or something else. If it's food choice, then I have to believe that she'll get hungry enough and eat the healthy goodness I'm putting before her. I believe she's teething, which always changes the dynamics for a while.

Tonight is my "night off" and I'm going to attempt to whip up some healthy meals that I can freeze and reuse at various points. A little couscous is in order and I'll mix in some other meat and veggies. We'll see!

Healthy Baby Eating

When my daughter was young, I happily pureed her food up and she happily ate it up. I would spend hours in the kitchen on Wed nights (my night "off") making her all kinds of steamed, baked and cooked fresh, healthy food.

As she grew older and could manage finger foods, I found myself stuck on what to make for her that was easy, quick, healthy and would actually be consumed. Sweet potato puree? No problem. Sweet potato chunks. On the floor. Thus, my battle to get her to eat the same foods she happily (and will still happily) ate all mushed up to eat in the adult version. (Oh, have I mentioned I won't eat any of these...I hate veggies and I'm striving SO hard to make sure my daughter doesn't fall into the same category. My husband loves veggies and probably misses them dreadfully living with me. I hope she'll take after him.)

I've become inspired to find and make something she'll enjoy beyond pancakes and pasta. I REFUSE to raise a chicken nugget and pizza bagel eater! I was turned on to Baby Lunchbox by my cousin. This woman packs a mean lunch for her daughter! Such a wide range of food and a lot of different offerings to take advantage of her daughters mood...she has inspired me to think beyond what I would do. Today, for example, I cooked up her turkey apple sausage patty (Whole Foods) and added some organic cranberry jelly to it. Never would have thought of that before, but looking at how Baby Lunchbox combines different foods, I was inspired. How inspired my daughter will be yet remains to be seen.

I'm also on a quest to "hide" the veggies in her meal. Pasta is easy. The peas get in by accident. Today I shredded carrot into egg and cheese. Not sure how that will go. Sent back up just in case. I do have the Jessica Seinfeld book and have to start paying more attention to it. My other argument, besides getting the veggies is, is that I want her to enjoy them in their natural form.

I spent some time online seeing what else I could find and hit pay dirt with Weelicious. I'm envious of the array of food she prepares (and even more envious that her son eats it!). Of course, I can't help but wonder...stay at home mom? My time is so limited that I need quick and healthy or things over the weekend I can prepare in advance or that prepares large portions that I can add to (hence the pasta). I'll try not to judge you Weelicious!

I will continue my quest and post links to great sites I found. I also checked some books out of my local library for inspiration. I want to inspire this little generation of a potential foodie in my house.

The Big Party (And This Mom is Pooped!)

Saturday was the "official" party for my girl. I took the day off Friday to clean, grocery shop, set the table and all the other stuff that comes with hosting festivities. Thankfully, my parents took Bugs Friday night until Saturday so I could actually get stuff done. Saturday was crappy and rainy, quite a disappointment, but then again, we wouldn't be running around outside. Of course, more running around, prepping, setting, and getting myself ready. I love to host parties, but I hate the work. I spend 2 days cleaning and when it's over, who could tell? And I hardly got to enjoy my guests, which included my in-laws who flew in from TX, or my daughter at her party.

Sheesh...all these years my mom made it look so effortless. I was EXHAUSTED when they left at 8 (party started at 4) and in no mood to start cleaning again. I wish I had 2 dishwashers! The next day we had a 90th birthday party to attend for my husband's grandmothers birthday, so getting anything productive around the house was out. I, thankfully, got to sleep in and sleep I did. Until 10! Felt like I was in college again. Sometimes I really miss those days of sleeping in, padding around the house and do whatever whenever I felt like it. I had A LOT of those days, so I guess I shouldn't complain. I just keep thinking I probably would have bounced back quicker if I were younger. Back then, staying out until 4 and being at work by 9 was no problem. Now, BIG problem!

All in all, it was a great party and I know my daughter had fun and is loved by so many people. That's all that matters. Now, if I could just get a nap in...

Happy First Birthday Bugs!

Wow. I can't believe a year has gone by. And I thought the whole "the first year goes by so fast" was just a cliche. Especially in those early months where I longed for her to get bigger and grow (and sleep). Now I'm sad. My baby isn't a baby any longer. She's bordering on Toddlerhood. She's so busy exerting her new found independance that sitting on my lap each evening and reading a bedtime story is too restricting. I just keep hoping that that time will come around again.

I'm amazed by how much love I have for this little girl. Another so I thought cliche. But the amount of love I have for her is just overwhelming. I truly loved her the moment I saw her. Little flat head and all!

So, tonight will be a quiet birthday celebration. It's bath night and a school night. I packed her favorite breakfast and lunch today and will make her another favorite, grilled cheese tonight. We all deserve special treats on our birthday. Her big family birthday will be this Saturday. All three sets of grandparents, along with the 2 great-grandma's will gather to celebrate the best thing in our lives.

Happy Birthday Bugs! I love you with all my heart!

The First Halloween

This Halloween was baby's last "first" holiday. I used to love all holidays as a child, and it is so much fun to be able to revisit them again with her. I am looking forward to when she'll be into decorating the house, baking cookies and hosting little parties with her friends. My mom used to do all these things with me and I'm looking forward to passing this on to my daughter.

As I sit here drinking the Coke I swear every morning I'm not going to have (I don't drink coffee...this is my substitute) I am happy for one thing...she's too little to eat chocolate. Thus, we don't have pounds and pounds of it in the house. Just a few nibbles she did get from visiting neighbors. In the battle between me and the pounds, the pounds are winning. Mostly because I haven't really done anything to change. I so don't want to be the fat mommy. I miss the days when I was thin (but I don't miss the large amounts of work I had to put into making that happen) and had this fantastic wardrobe (now it's all about masking and trying to cover up). I want to instill healthy eating and healthy living into my daughter. I know I need to become that roll model and I know how to do it, it's the desire to do it. I'm tired...which is a vicious circle. I'm tired because I lack energy and I'm hauling this extra weight around, much less have energy to work out or have the time or money ( a gym is out of the question and when would I do this? and now the days are dark early). I know. All excuses. And ones I probably won't take from my daughter when she gives them.

How does one become the roll model they want to be? How do you become the do as I say and do as I do person? This is where I struggle. I think I have the best of intentions, but intentions don't get you anywhere.

Welcome!

Today is the first day of my blog. I'm not sure yet the direction I want to take this...so many issues and topics rolling around in my head that I'm sure others can understand and deal with. So, I guess I'll start with a brief introduction about myself and call it a day for now.

I had my daughter in November of 2007 at the age of 37. Being a later in life mommy (or, as the box on the medical forms called it "advanced age") wasn't by choice, but mearly the course of action life took...and maybe my destiny. I met my husband when I was 34 after years and years of dating disasters. We married right before my 36th birthday and quickly followed up with the purchase of a house and the adoption of a starter baby (our dog). Thankfully I became pregnant fairly easily and quickly, and my pregnancy was petty uneventful minus the gestational diabetes and constant exhaustion.

Our 9 pound 9 ounce (!) bundle of joy arrived on Sunday, November 4, 2007 via c-section (can you guess why? LOL). My husband and I, not to mention all three sets of grandparents, were beyone thrilled. She is the light of our lives and our greatest accomplishment.

During the course of my year long introduction to motherhood, I figured a few things out about being a later in life mommy. One is why most people have children when they are younger. You need that boundless energy, that ability to function on 4 hours of sleep, that ability to bounce back quickly, seeming ability to lose weight easier, and that carefree attitude. Two is that having kids later in life does bring many advantages...experience, wisdom, financial security, less narcisstic behavior, etc. When I think about the advantages and disadvantages, I must say, I think the deck is evenly stacked.

I also work full-time, which brings with it its own set of issues (and rewards) that I struggle with...along with my weight. I have a feeling these topics will rear their heads many times and I hope for support, suggestions and whatever else those in bloggerland have to offer.

Of course, none of this matters because my daughter chose to find me when she did and I will happily take her no matter what my age is or was.

Back to work...